How to be a peer supporter? - CUHK MDW

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How to be a peer supporter?

13 May, 2024

How to spot someone experiencing distress

Stress is a natural reaction, and one which everyone experiences. Signs of stress can affect our BASIC function and may include:
1. Behavioral reactions: lack of motivation, avoiding doing activities, becoming violent, etc
2. Emotional reactions: feeling sad, angry, scared, etc.
3. Physical reactions: headaches, muscle pain, back pain, difficulty sleeping, lack of appetite, etc.
4. Interpersonal reactions: withdrawal, decreased intimacy, isolation, loneliness
5. Cognitive reactions: loss of concentration, negative thoughts, confusion
Supporting others with active listening
Listening is the most essential part of giving support. Help them feel calm. Instead of giving your advice immediately, allow them to speak and listen carefully so that you will be able to fully understand and empathize with their situation and needs.
1. Give the person your undivided attention.
2. Listen, with your heart, to truly hear their concerns.
3. Use appropriate body language (facial expressions, eye contact, gestures etc.)
4. Use appropriate and supportive words to show empathy.
5. Do not offer false assurances (e.g., “Everything will be okay.”, “Prayers is all it takes/ you need.”).
6. Acknowledge their situation. Do not dismiss nor discount their experiences (e.g., “It’s nothing.”, “Your problems are nothing compared to others.”).
7. Try not to make assumptions about their situations.
8. Do not steal the moment from them by narrating your own experiences and other people’s experiences.
9. Be patient and do not pressure them to speak up and tell everything all at once.
You cannot give what you do not have
Make sure to take care of your own well-being first before taking care of others. Don’t forget to look after yourself. This way, you can be your best self when helping out others who are in need of support.
1. Eat well, get enough sleep and exercise physically every day.
2. Do an activity you enjoy or find meaningful everyday (e.g., art, reading, prayers, talking to a friend)
3. Take time to talk to friends or family about your work or anything that interests you.
4. Establish daily routines.
5. Practice gratitude. Make a short list (paper or in your head) of ways you have helped other or things that you are grateful for.
6. Focus on what you control and let go of things that you can’t.
7. Practice stress management and relaxation.
Help other help themselves
People need to feel they have control in their lives in order for them to recover well. Sometime there is really no need to impose ourselves and our beliefs to other people but rather empower them. The best thing we can do is to help them help themselves. The STOP-THINK-GO method can be effective in doing this.
1. STOP – Help the person to take a pause, and consider what problems are most urgent. Help the person to use the circles of control to identify and choose a problem which they can do something about.
2. THINK – Encourage the person to think of ways to manage that problem. The following questions may help:
What have you done in the past to overcome problems like this?
What have you already tried doing?
Is there someone who can help with managing this problem (e.g., friends, loved ones or organizations)?
Do other people you know have similar problems? How have they managed?
3. GO – Help the person to choose a way to manage that problem and try it out. If it doesn’t work, encourage the person to try another solution.
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